Having completed the necessary courses in occupying an inhumane cubicle and staying sane, having exercised my fingers to swiftly reap the benefits and optimize the functionality of the minimize button on my desktop, remembering to turn my radio up when the girl at the end of the cubicle conveyor belt has her "about last night" conversations with her boyfriend, diversifying my skills efficiently by using my employee manual as a coaster, totally convincing creepy, bad hair having, stalker guy I am on the phone when he stops by for dating advice "ewwwwwww", eloquently zoning out my boss when he rolls his eyes in the back of his head and elevates two feet off the ground after I've made a mistake that, in reality, isn't worth the strain he puts on his blood pressure, and congratulating myself every day that I've landed my dream job, I, Karin Murphy, finally feel that I have earned the prestigious award of Master Cubicle Dweller and shall display it proudly in an area where I can use tape and not push-pins, as ordered by office services, in an effort to not damage the only wall I have left to call my own.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
IT IS HEREBY ORDERED that Plaintiff's Motion for Master Cubicle Dweller is GRANTED;
ReplyDeleteDATED this 25th day of September, 2009.
Signed: Judge Rebecca Lou Horst
USDC - District of Oregon
Notes from the Judge: Excellent job Karin Murphy. Please be sure the push-pins are at the required length of 1/2" and that your certificate is displayed in a neat, professional and proper manner.
I recent the stab @ OC, meanie! Good thing I don't work there anymore or I would have to take you out to lunch (which of course would need to be paid for by "the firm") to discuss your behavior.
ReplyDelete